Ezra and the Great Poop Disaster

This happened last week, but I was too traumatized to write about it until now. Last week, I found out two things; 1) why Velcro diapers are not a good idea for a nosy, Macgiver-inspired child, and 2) why all children should come with bio-hazard warnings.

It was a day like every other day. The children were sleeping, and I was sitting on the couch folding laundry. Suddenly, I heard a noise. It was a cross between a squeak and a squawk, but it was not a noise of distress. In fact, it sounded like the noise of a baby, happily playing in his crib after his nap. So, I didn't panic and resumed folding my laundry.
A few minutes later, the noise turned from a squawk to a SCREEEEEEEEECH-this noise was unmistakable. A small person was ANGRY. So I sighed, left the laundry to watch television without me, and went to remove His Angriness from the Cage of Cruel and Unnecessary Confinement (better known as a "crib").
When I opened the door, my nostrils were immediately assailed with the kind of smell usually associated with the streets of medieval England in the midst of summer. An unmistakable smell. The smell...of POOP. I still didn't panic--I am a veteran of the poopy diaper. I thought to myself "The room is small. The window is closed. Perhaps it is just a result of the non-circulating air". This, my friends, was wishful thinking at its finest.
I opened the curtain and beheld a horror like no other. Graffiti covered my child, his crib, the wall, the floor, and everything in the crib. Graffiti-made of poop. LOTS of poop. Despite (or maybe because of) his poopy-ness, the small screeching Picasso smiled brightly when he saw me. I removed the child, placed him in the (waterless) tub, held my breath and threw everything in the crib into the washer (except the musical giraffe, which I had the pleasure of hand-washing).
That was last week. The crib, stuffed animals and baby were all restored to their former, feces-free state. However, I still shudder a bit with trepidation when going to get him out of the crib; I never know what I'll find.

Picture post!

Video001(2), originally uploaded by tangleb0x.

Ezra "splooshing"!!

Making "soup".


Some lovely dirt for Mommy:


Ezra in the Wild:


He's Off!


Ezra was VERY impressed with the slide:


Fat, fat baby!


Skinny, skinny toddler:


"Scoopin'"


More "scoopin'"
 

Moments that make you go "NOOOOOOO!"

Yesterday, I was folding laundry. The children were playing happily and quietly, so I should have guessed that something was up, but I just counted my blessings and kept folding. Ten minutes in...(in order to properly picture the scene, imagine all of Canaan's sentences ending in a squeak).
Canaan: "Brother's playing in the WATER!!"
Me: "What water? Where? Why is brother playing in water in the house?"
Canaan: "Brother found water in the bathroom! I help him open the water!"
Me:".......um......" (running)
Canaan "See brother, Mommy? Brother!!"

Entering the bathroom, I view Ezra....happily splashing in the toilet.
Canaan: "See? I help brother! I so kind!"
Me: "EWWWW!"

Yes, my kid played in the toilet. Thank goodness I had cleaned it the day before. Now I can't keep him out of the bathroom.

The bunnies are the driver's favorite passengers

Canaan is singing "Wheels on the Bus". He was singing away, then he got to "The bunnies on the bus go..................." (long silence). 
Abrupt switch-"The horn on the bus goes toot toot toot!" Apparently, there is no noise acceptable for bunnies to make.
After the horn, he moved on to moose-"The moose on the bus go moose moose moose!" I guess moose noises are hard to pin down too. 

The Beast Has Awoken (permanently, it seems)

Apparently, in the 18 months since the Big turned one, I have forgotten something that goes with baby birthdays. Funky sleep patterns. My precious, adorable, sleeps-like-a-log Ezra has turned whiny, fussy and WAKE-Y. He is NOT interested in going to sleep. He is less interested in staying asleep. He won't even consider going back to sleep without being re-fluffed, re-tucked, re-pacified, and requires many, many windings of his musical "Giraffe-y". I know all the moments when small boys need their Mommy gradually lessen over time and I should be grateful for his babyness-but I'm not likely to feel that sentimental at 3 AM. Fat Ezra-I love you; now please turn back into sound-sleeper Ezra. Thank you.

Happy Birthday Little Boy!

Ezra fedora, originally uploaded by tangleb0x.

Thomas and the Jailbreak

Yesterday, we went on two Epic Adventures. The first was to the mall, to buy birthday presents for the Little as well as various other sundries. The second was to Price Chopper, because the fridge, freezer and all the cupboards were empty. Really and truly empty. While at Price Chopper, Daddy bought Big this:

Now, this particular Thomas is VERY securely fastened into the package. Unfortunately, it is displayed in a cutaway so that little children can see and touch Thomas, but not get him out. So, for the subsequent grocery shopping and while waiting in line, I had to hear "Mommy, want to get Thomas OUT!" in a high, squeaky voice. Repeated approximately every 30 seconds.
Finally, convinced my head would explode if I heard the phrase even one more time, I handed Big a pencil, and told him to draw a picture of Thomas on the box. He did that, but then decided to use the pencil to better ends, and tried to stab enough holes in the box to break Thomas out. It didn't work, but I admired his initiative!


*Photo of Thomas the Tank Engine courtesy of Amazon.com